It's been a while

'Most people believe they are doing the right thing' is a statement that can be hard to come to terms with.

I used to have a recurring thought: 'If only 'that person' knew what I knew, if only 'they' could see it how I see it'

I can be quite challenging to accept that two people watching a movie can have differing opinions when you replace 'watching a movie' with 'listening to a plea for help' or 'arguing about human rights'.

I started thinking about this while I was reading a discussion between Neil Gaiman and Kazuo Ishiguro. They touch on a subject that I found very interesting in ethics: the banality of evil. Hannah Arendt was my first introduction to this idea.

Hannah Arendt wrote a very, I think, important piece on the trial of Adolf Eichman in Jerusalem for his crimes against the Jewish people during the Second World War. Arendt describes how she comes to realize how 'normal' or 'unremarkable' Eichman is. It would be easier if he were simply a monster.

It's easy to brand people with the one thing the two of you disagree upon. It's easy to forget that they truly believe that they are not doing or thinking anything wrong. It's also easy to come to the conclusion that you must show them they are wrong, or tell them that they are doing wrong. It's easy to forget that clichés are clichés for a reason and compassion is truly useful.

It's hard to try and understand or value someone when they don't seem to want to understand or value you. But it's even harder, I think, to find common ground with someone when you have drawn a line.

The 5 things I look for in women, apparently

So there is an article here (in icelandic though) that claims there are 5 traits that most men look for in women. This is according to studies that must be of such high standing that the author of the article in question hasn't even bothered to tell us which studies.

Now, obviously this is big news for all you ladies that have a hard time getting men to stick around (why else would you be single?) because finally you can set yourself some clear, achievable goals and mould yourself into what idiots think men should want.

Sorry cat, we still haven't figured out what men look for in kitties.

Without further ado I will list here the 5 most sought after traits:

1) Independent

Wow, not a bad start. Let's look at how they describe 'independence':

(translated) 'It's important for women to be independent but still be able to seek help from men once in a while to give the impression that they need help' 

Ok, I think I understand this... I want someone independent enough to figure out how to use the oven, but not able to open jars... yes?

2) Fun

Sound thinking in this next one. Since men are really childish by nature (true) they look for a women who can hang, you know, be chill, one of the bro's (with tits). A fun women should be able to play video games and follow sports because a fun woman is not a woman with her own interests but a woman who entertains men (but not too many men). Also, she 'shouldn't take herself too seriously'.

3) Positive

'The most undesirable women are those that possess a propensity towards drama, unnecessary trouble and chattering or those that constantly find things to complain about'.

At this point it becomes apparent that this article is written by a middle aged man going through a bitter divorce... except it's actually written by a woman.

Anyway, it doesn't matter since it is fairly obvious that women never have anything legitimate to complain about anyway, men are perfect and all they ask for is 'someone easy to be around when they come home from a hard days work'.

Aww...

4) 'Women that wear red'

so... according to a study from the University of Rochester men are willing to spend more on women that wear red... because it's sexy... so... bad news for your wedding day?

I can't even...

5) Gentle

'Now ladies, I know you may feel pressure to put up a 'mask' and act all 'tough' when you meet a man for the first time and that is cute but studies show that men want a woman who is gentle and kind' so just chill and speak when spoken too.

The most depressing part is that pretty much all I added was the sarcastic tone...

Radical hilarity

Conversation starters from the book: Smooth Talking: (For Guys) 500+ Useful Examples That'll Help You Start Conversations & Reply To Questions, Insults, & Many Other Things! (Smooth Talking (For Guys)).

Excerpts from the chapter 'How smooth talkers start great conversations'. As these are complicated and intricate, even delicate, examples of human interaction I take it upon myself to dissect and make apparent the underlying communication. The 'translations' are in red.

I must warn you however, do not attempt to repeat these conversation starters lightly. On the website Amazon, a Mr. Honesty remarks that to succeed at deploying these conversation starters one must be 'radically funny'

#1

Her: (Walking on the street)

You: (Walk up to her) Hey! I was about to go (wherever you were going) but you caught my eye.

You: (Chasing her) Hey! I was going somewhere but then I thought; maybe I can have sex with this woman so... here I am! 

Her: Ha-ha!

Her: Ha-ha?

You: I don't usually do this. Has any guy ever walked up to you like this?

You: I don't want you to think that I'm some kind of weirdo who's always talking to strangers but, just out of curiosity, has anyone else ever done this?

Her: Yes/No

Her: Yes/No/Go away

You: (If she says 'Yes') Not surprised. How'd it go? / (If she says 'No') Well I guess you got lucky today. You like coffee? (You can take it from here guys...)

You: ('Yes') I knew it! Did you have sex with him? / ('No') Well goddamn you are in luck because I am going to show you a whole new world of disappointment! Let's go and break down your self confidence over some coffee.

#5

Her: (Is alone / not talking)

Her: (Separated from the herd)

You: You look lonely.

You: You look vulnerable

Her: I'm (whatever she's doing)

Her: I'm chillin' like a villan.

You:  How many days could you last in solitary confinement?

You: Ok, whatever. How many days could you last in solitary confinement?

Her: Ha-ha, maybe a lot.

Her: ...uhm, a while?

You: (Nod your head) How would you do it? (Smirk)

You: (Nod your head and mutter 'yes, yes, I thought so) Hypothetically, if someone were to kidnap you and lock you in a room and leave you there, with bread and water, how long would it take for you to go crazy? (Now smile so she doesn't think you're creepy)

#22

Her: (With another friend)

Her: (Busy)

You: So... how do you guys know each other?

You: Hey! Hey! Pay attention to me! Hey! Over here! I want to have sex with (either one of) you!

#11

You: So how do you pass the time?

Her: I draw a lot.

You: Like people sketches?

Her: Yeah, portraits of people.

You: (Come in closer as if you're about to share a secret) Naked portraits?

You: (Lean in and giggle - 'hue hue hue') Naked portraits?

Honestly, I recommend reading the rest of the chapter in the Amazon free preview, they are hilarious in their banal misogyny.  

Persons

 It may seem crass to ask, but why do people matter? Is a person valuable in and of herself or is she only valuable as long as she is useful?

Today I went to an exhibition at the Reykjavík Museum of Photography, see here. The exhibition was a series of 21 photographs of people with Downs-syndrome, all kinds of people set against a beautiful background. Although it was the people that really shone. The artist, Sigga Ella, was inspired to begin this project after hearing a discussion on the ethics of aborting a foetus once it becomes clear that there is something 'wrong'. For example, Downs-syndrome.

The pictures I saw today were beautiful, truly. There was a great breadth and depth of people shown. When you look at people that are dissimilar to the extent that you feel no compassion, 'why do they matter?', try thinking instead 'Who am I? Why do I matter?'

Well, why do you matter?
Is it maybe because you care about yourself? Because you care about others and others care about you? Is it because you do something important? But important to whom?

Lots of questions, so many...
If you matter, why doesn't someone else matter?

Title

An interesting recipe. Sit in a busy, fancy, hip café. Start reading about Camus on the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Wait for 'Stayin' alive' by the Bee Gees to come on. Become self-aware. Start moving your head to the beat. Realize that partial dancing rocks. Remember that 'Stayin' alive' is the song to knead someone's heart to while resuscitating them. Watch Vinnie Jones explain the basics of CPR. Relax. Blog about it. Stare out the window.

Camus writes that our situation is absurd. Why? We constantly, even necessarily, ask ourselves 'what is the meaning of life?' when there is no answer. This creates an 'irresolvable emptiness' which we have to bear. This is probably similar to when you ask your friend / lover / favourite pet what they want for dinner and they say 'I don't know'. A necessary question that you scream into the infinite void.

But that's ok. Just like you eventually have to choose what to eat, eventually you have to choose what to live for. So what's the point? I dunno, you tell me.

Existence and the cruelty of clothes

Taken from a thread on the subreddit MensRights. The original post is a question as to why Mens Rights groups aren't more accommodating towards ethnic and sexual male minorities (Hispanic, cis etc.)
(Inspired by an article on the excellent feminist blog 'wehuntedthemammoth.com', link below)



What should be obvious to all is that the question presented above is of utmost importance. Are gay men for or against equality for men?

I will simplify the argument presented by Mr. Tyciol:

1) Let us begin with a fairly indisputable assumption - women are scary. Not just scary but truly terrifying. For anyone who hasn't realized why they're terrified of women it is because they have way more power than men - fact. You're welcome.
2) Since women are so terrifying it follows that many men are unable or unwilling to approach them and therefore seek the company of other men.
3) Although the main issue here is obviously equality we cannot ignore that a lot of sexual frustration builds up and makes these victims of fear (men) easy to seduce.
4) In other words; they become easy targets for gay men who are looking for converts to their cult of "homosexual lifestyle"
5) It seems that gay men benefit hugely from female dominance so how could they possibly want true equality?
6) The only possible explanation is that gay men who are actually gay are not all total assholes just trying to seduce vulnerable, sexually frustrated men, but, you know, that doesn't seem, like, super likely.

The true brilliance of Mr. Tyciol's comment is that is forces us to question the true meaning of life, of existence, of... society. Why do we exist? Why do we exist in a society? The obvious answer, as hinted at by Mr. Tyciol, is sex. Sex is the beginning and the end, the alpha and the omega. Let me explain.

We come out of a vagina. From the beginning it is not only about sex but also about sexual domination of the man. Women are free and naked while giving birth while any men present are forced to be clothed. I think no more needs to be said.

It now becomes apparent what Mr. Tyciol truly means:

"Think about how much better the world would be if doctors had to be naked."


Article here.